Happy Mothers Day!

~Mothers Day~ 

 The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  ~Rajneesh

As I reflect on my life and sort through my pictures I am reminded at how lucky I truly am! I have 4 of the most AMAZING children, who I not only love to the depths of my  heart and beyond, but who love me just as much! 4 Children whom I have an unbreakable bond with. We have been through so much in our lives together and I can proudly say that we have made it through it all without damaging what we have! As they grow older and as I grow older it becomes and ever stronger bond.
I think back to my mom  today as she was so unfairly taken too soon and am honored that I got the gift of being her child. Those who knew my mom knew what an amazing woman she was, and how with just one meeting she could touch you and be engrained into your mind forever. I can only hope I could have an ounce of her soul in me, and want to be like her in so many ways.
 My mom is truly a gift. My children are truly a gift. And today on Mothers day I can proudly say.....I am blessed and then some!

I love you mommy, Bear, Goose, Zechy chen, and baby girl! (Mom, Josh, Caleb, Zech, Hannah)
Happy Mothers day everyone!!!  <3~T~

 My 4 amazings!

My Amazing Mommy! How I miss her!

The end where I begin

Forward and Onward!

I'm not good at letting go; it's quite hard for me to do. I think I have let go and I look back and see a tiny thread still attached to the past. It bothers me because it hinders me from moving forward...from moving on.

 I don't know if it's fear?  Fear of rejection, fear of being forgotten, or fear of doing the wrong thing.... or a mixture of all.

I don't like fear.... It becomes crippling. I worry too much about things I can't control. I struggle with the "F&@% It" attitude. I sweat the small stuff and become over taken by the big stuff.

 I use to handle stress very well; it actually pushed me to try harder. I’d cry…yell… then chin up and move ahead. Now it knocks me on my ass and into the corner… Too many beat downs in life.

I don't want to end up like the countless hopeless people I see around me who don't fight for a better life. I want to fight for the life I need, the life I deserve...the life I know is out there for me. And that tiny spark is all I have left to hold on to...That and my kids.

People will always let you down; family won't always be there. It's up to you…it’s up to me to make it happen.

 My choices, my fight, my determination and my peace of mind. As soon as I realize that myself then I can make bigger steps of progress. This is my responsibility! 

 <3 ~T~ 

!! ~ Bieber Dream ~ !!

YES I DREAMED OF THE BIEBS LAST NIGHT!!!....... 

...Not sure why???? I'm not a big fan....or even a little one for that matter! I haven't seen or heard any recent scandal  about him the day before ( and seeing as dreams may be linked to our subconscious) I was baffled as to why my sacred closed eye time was so violated by a biebs dream..... not it was not the "wet" type of dream. It was actually quite disturbing.

All I remember of it was being stuck in his pool room ( as in swimming). He was rocking out on a baby grand drunker than the dude from moonshiners who was recently arrested for public intoxication.

Steven Ray Tickle

The room was a mess, Like Hurricane Katrina mess ( equivalent to a teenagers room ) Littered with empty Red Solo cups, bottles,pizza boxes, strewn with drugged out teenage bodies and anything else that could live off a floor.....including doggy doo!!!!! I know right!!!! I didn't know Justin had a dog either! Turns out it was my dogs do do! Because like all of us in the dream we were all stuck in the pool room until the little man pop icon, as long as he didn't leave the room, none of us could either!

The dream was so realistic I could smell the horrible stench that was almost unbearable.... but I think the dog may have dutch ovened me in my sleep... Can't be sure, I was fast asleep after all.

So anyway my dream ended with me stuck in a swimming pool that was more like a human toilet yelling at the Biebs, like his money whoring momma should have to get his arse out of the pool room and into the real world and smarten up before I put him over my knee!

Time to shower the pool water off now......


~T~

A just for fun....and true story Blog!

~Fat to Fit, The Continous Journey~

MY JOURNEY FROM "PHAT" TO FIT

Haters be hating!

I was going to start this blog like a mth ago when I made the decision to lose some poundage I had eaten that refused to exit my body.  I thought If I wrote a blog about my journey I would hold myself accountable. But I forgot to remind myself to hold myself accountable.

I have been struggling through the whole process of losing extra weight that I truly never asked for but am way to nice to say no to, and also get more fit so when I get off the potty I am not so out of breath! :P  But I also wanted to change my eating habits so I don't look old before my time. I want to be like the McLeod's and be fit and have fun, so in order to do that I had to give my body a break....

Anywho......I began my journey hitting a brick wall for multiple reasons.....#1. Stomach flu..oh yeah!!!! One would think with all the exorcism vomit and anal seapage I would have lost some inside waste......however....the kids got it not me. Talk about ass backwards there. So my time was spent mothering and Lysoling and a little bit of exhaustion.  #2.  I had to begin by taking pictures of my nakedness.....hot eh???  NO!!!! Oh man I cried like a heart broken teenager who missed the NKOTB concert!  #3. I had SO much research to do, I have always just eaten. I pick a recipe, make it, go out to eat, order it, got the munchies, gorge on it.  So I was more than overwhelmed,  I was discouraged. I don't have anyone I know who I can ask about eating properly or to meet me for a run ( until last week.... Nikki!) So needless to say I have and am still absorbing information ( but not ingesting it )  I have a half plan in place and am working my way to a full one.

I stepped on the scale today ( she is a judgemental bitch let me tell you!!! ) And saw my weight, hung my head and walked away.  I Msg'd a friend to whine and when I said I have only lost 5 pounds in a month. They said "See you HAVE lost weight" I was like "Damn straight I have!!" And thanked my friend.  Funny how it takes a "see" for you to realized the passing of gas in public while grunting on the machine  is worth it!

So thanks for bearing with me during my 1st entry, if you want to send words of encouragement  and stroke my ego....I NEED them and will accept them gladly. Any tips....send em my way, unless it's "Eat Chocolate" cause I will!  I will try my damnedest to constantly journal so if you don't hear from me send me a nudge to get on it..... if at all you care.  I want to be an encouragement to any one I can be as well so let me know you need me and dis beotch be der!!!!!!  ( I have teenagers).


Tara's Tip number #1 ...... Cut out all sugars if you can, they are a huge violator of the innards. If you MUST have it go for Raw and only in the am so you have the day ( cause it be taking you that long) to burn the fatty, sweet, yummy, sexy goodness off! ( maltose, glucose, dextrose, fructose, sucrose, molasses and even honey) Bad, bad, bad! ( including breads....stick to Brown Rye, or get the 'wheat belly book")  http://www.wheatbellybook.com/wheatbellybook/bps/index?keycode=228440
http://revivelifeclinic.com/resources/foods-nutrition/food-intolerance-information/sugar/

Tip # 2 Think of your daily eating as an upside down pyramid, breakfast = biggest meal, lunch = smaller and dinner =  smallest. Your metabolism slows down at the end of the day so don't eat a big dinner ( little to no carbs @ dinner. Fist sized meat, and lots of veggies. ( Two healthy snacks in between meals)

More tips to come :)
~T~

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Your where you are because of the choices you have made, don't blame others.
Think before you decide, it doesn't make you weak, it makes you smart.
Plan important stuff out 1st, before you plan the wants out, going hungry with fancy utensils makes you weak.
Lean on yourself, blaming others for falling is a sign of immaturity.

In short.....Seeking immediate gratification before basic needs just makes you a dumb ass!

~The End Of The World Walk~

WINTER WELCOME! 

BEAUTY IN DEATH :)

So I went for a walk today to clear my head and of course had to take my camera with me! All was quiet, cold and a little desolate. So of course with the whole Mayan Apocalypse I got to thinking.....What would the world look like if it had ended??? So I decided to do a picture blog of my wonderment! 

Come on my journey to the end of the world with me............

As I was walking I noticed things that made me think....."Oh my has destruction taken place?"

Maybe a house exploded???

And bits and pieces ended up washed ashore.....

 

Where is the child this shoe belongs too?........

 Would a mother no longer take up her rolling pin and bake cookies for her children?

Would the remaining of us be washed away by the water?

And then the sky's opened up! And I had hope again!

I began to see the beauty of nature I had sought at the beginning of my walk.

I opened my eyes and started to enjoy the journey and not just focus on the destination.

It was then that my mind began to clear and I was feeling more at ease with the day. 

Before I knew it I became lost in the world of winters nature. I was in awe of the beauty around me that seemed to be thriving in winters cold harshness.

 I loved how the water embraces the leafs. 

 The wild Strawberries still show beauty even after their fruit is gone.

Nature is wondrous!

 The cold wind blew this puddle in the night and froze it's ripples so as it stands still in time!

I have a saying "Love follows me" This saying comes from the fact that I see hearts in everyday objects and in nature on my walks.

 However today....even though I saw love all around me in nature, I didn't feel very loved........Until I turned around and saw that love was actually following me!

I turned around about an hour into my walk and there was my youngest son.....Love....Following me!

 I am a VERY lucky mom!

And so I concluded my walk with a wonderful companion and knew that even if the world were to end I would always have lived by enjoying the journey and not just the destination!

Happy Non-Apocalypse! 

~T~